Business talk

Many people working in large companies speak business-buzzwords as a second language. Business language is full of pretty meaningless words. I Don’t Understand What Anyone Is Saying Anymore article tells that the language of internet business models has made the problem even worse. There are several strains of this epidemic: We have forgotten how to use the real names of real things, acronymitis, and Meaningless Expressions (like “Our goal is to exceed the customer’s expectation”). This would all be funny if it weren’t true. Observe it, deconstruct it, and appreciate just how ridiculous most business conversation has become.

Check out this brilliant Web Economy Bullshit Generator page. It generates random bullshit text based on the often used words in business language. And most of the material it generates look something you would expect from IT executives and their speechwriters (those are randomly generated with Web Economy Bullshit Generator):

“scale viral web services”
“integrate holistic mindshare”
“transform back-end solutions”
“incentivize revolutionary portals”
“synergize out-of-the-box platforms”
“enhance world-class schemas”
“aggregate revolutionary paradigms”
“enable cross-media relationships”

How to talk like a CIO article tries to tell how do CIOs talk, and what do they talk about, and why they do it like they do it. It sometimes makes sense to analyze the speaking and comportment styles of the people who’ve already climbed the corporate ladder if you want to do the same.

The Most Annoying, Pretentious And Useless Business Jargon article tells that the stupid business talk is longer solely the province of consultants, investors and business-school types, this annoying gobbledygook has mesmerized the rank and file around the globe. The next time you feel the need to reach out, touch base, shift a paradigm, leverage a best practice or join a tiger team, by all means do it. Just don’t say you’re doing it. If you have to ask why, chances are you’ve fallen under the poisonous spell of business jargon. Jargon masks real meaning. The Most Annoying, Pretentious And Useless Business Jargon article has a cache of expressions to assiduously avoid (if you look out you will see those used way too many times in business documents and press releases).

Is Innovation the Most Abused Word In Business? article tells that most of what is called innovation today is mere distraction, according to a paper by economist Robert Gordon. Innovation is the most abused word in tech. The iPad is about as innovative as the toaster. You can still read books without an iPad, and you can still toast bread without a toaster. True innovation radically alters the way we interact with the world. But in tech, every little thing is called “innovative.” If you were to believe business grads then “innovation” includes their “ideas” along the lines of “a website like *only better*” or “that thing which everyone is already doing but which I think is my neat new idea” Whether or not the word “innovation” has become the most abused word in the business context, that remains to be seen. “Innovation” itself has already been abused by the patent trolls.

Using stories to catch ‘smart-talk’ article tells that smart-talk is information without understanding, theory without practice – ‘all mouth and no trousers’, as the old aphorism puts it. It’s all too common amongst would-be ‘experts’ – and likewise amongst ‘rising stars’ in management and elsewhere. He looks the part; he knows all the right buzzwords; he can quote chapter-and-verse from all the best-known pundits and practitioners. But is it all just empty ‘smart-talk’? Even if unintentional on their part, people who indulge in smart-talk can be genuinely dangerous. They’ll seem plausible enough at first, but in reality they’ll often know just enough to get everyone into real trouble, but not enough to get out of it again. Smart-talk is the bane of most business – and probably of most communities too. So what can we do to catch it?

2,592 Comments

  1. Tomi Engdahl says:

    CEO of IBM Says Hiring Based on Skills Instead of College Degrees is Vital for the Future of Tech
    https://gizmodo.com/ceo-of-ibm-says-hiring-based-on-skills-instead-of-colle-1831977815

    Reply
  2. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Chief Robotics Officer – A New Face in the C-Suite
    https://www.designnews.com/automation-motion-control/chief-robotics-officer-new-face-c-suite/149534393360143?ADTRK=UBM&elq_mid=7312&elq_cid=876648

    With robot projects proliferating, many companies have defined a new c-suite role to champion robotics automation: The Chief Robotics Officer.

    DeGrasse pointed out that the CRO needs to understand that qualities that make up an automation project that lends itself to robot solutions. “Before you deploy robots, you have to identify a good automation project, and you have to show that it is extremely profitable,” said DeGrasse. “Selecting the right projects helps the CRO generate quick wins that will deliver the ROI. In our session, we’re going to show how other people have done it quickly with small projects rather than building a huge implementation all at once.”

    Reply
  3. Tomi Engdahl says:

    how to ALWAYS win an argument
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XF0AxT_pyw

    by hook or crook, you can be right even when you’re wrong.
    In this episode we analyze all the nasty ways to *seem* right to others even if you don’t have facts and logic on your side.

    The Tricks:
    1. Postulate What Has To Be Proved
    2. Choose Your Definitions
    3. Persuade the Audience
    4. Kafka Trap
    5. Ad Hominem
    6. Absurd Proposition

    Reply
  4. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Corporate Jargon – Lying by Obscurity
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ab2ZeZ-krY

    It’s not accidental or because they are stupid. Its often confusing and vague on purpose. Some of the greatest corruption scandals in history have happened thanks to jargon.

    Plain Language: Beyond a Movement
    Repositioning clear communication in the minds of decision-makers
    https://plainlanguage.gov/resources/articles/beyond-a-movement/

    Reply
  5. Tomi Engdahl says:

    *WARNING* This SPEECH Will Make You RETHINK YOUR ENTIRE LIFE (life changer!)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtekFGMs2IA

    I think alot of us are afraid of change. Change is good when you know you’re headed in the right direction, even if it means being alone for a while.

    Reply
  6. Tomi Engdahl says:

    BETTER & FASTER: Innovation Keynote Speaker Jeremy Gutsche’s Top Speech on Innovation
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFshvhzcCVw

    Learn how to be BETTER at adapting to change and FASTER at finding new business ideas. This keynote speech is one of his most-requested TED Talks style speeches from his list of about ten speech topics.

    Reply
  7. Tomi Engdahl says:

    An FBI Negotiator’s Secret to Winning Any Exchange | Inc.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llctqNJr2IU

    Christopher Voss created his company Black Swan based on the skills learned as a negotiator in hostage situations.

    Reply
  8. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Chris Voss: “Never Split the Difference” | Talks at Google
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guZa7mQV1l0

    Everything we’ve previously been taught about negotiation is wrong: people are not rational; there is no such thing as ‘fair’; compromise is the worst thing you can do; the real art of negotiation lies in mastering the intricacies of No, not Yes. These surprising tactics—which radically diverge from conventional negotiating strategy—weren’t cooked up in a classroom, but are the field-tested tools FBI agents used to talk criminals and hostage-takers around the world into (or out of) just about any scenario you can imagine.

    In NEVER SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator Chris Voss breaks down these strategies so that anyone can use them in the workplace, in business, or at home.

    Reply
  9. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Digital transformation calls for agile strategy
    https://www.reaktor.com/work/business-design/

    Businesses must adapt and learn faster than ever to make the most of the changing digital landscape. Reaktor’s business design team helps you take on this challenge: We harness design principles, strategic thinking and rapid execution to create new value and competitive advantage.

    Reply
  10. Tomi Engdahl says:

    6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqFnn_spo4c

    Persuasion. When someone is persuaded, it’s amazing how positive things turn out. Some psychology on how to persuade someone, empathy, and your personal development off of it will be talked about.

    You probably like to think of yourself as a rational human being like when you have a decision to make, you take all the information you make a pros and cons list and you add that up to make the best decision possible.

    I want to give you 6 phrases that you can use to turn the tide in your favor when you’re trying to persuade someone to do something that you might like.

    Reply
  11. Tomi Engdahl says:

    7 Psychological Tricks To Get Respect IMMEDIATELY
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKbXqE81W2s

    Reply
  12. Tomi Engdahl says:

    How to Never Run out of Things to Say – Keep a Conversation Flowing!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU-ibdHkz4Y

    Are you trying to have a conversation with your crush or anyone else you may be nervous around and struggle with coming up with things to talk about? In this video we will give you a simple method to rely on when you fallback to small talk. There are 4 main small talk examples that will lead you to a better, more interesting conversation with anyone. Learn how to never run out of things to say with the FORD Method.

    Reply
  13. Tomi Engdahl says:

    5 Common Phrases That Show You Lack Confidence
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R-3PPsM8HQ

    How To Flirt As An Introvert
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4b5T-RAgec

    Reply
  14. Tomi Engdahl says:

    5 Common Habits That Will Kill Your Confidence
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwhb61GBm1A

    Every single day, we do something that are fantastic for our confidence and we do others that aren’t so good — they drag it down and destroy it. The problem is we can’t always tell which of those is which. And that’s why in this video, I want to show you five very common behaviors — some of which I bet you are doing — that are secretly destroying your confidence because if you can remove these from your life, it’s dramatic how your self-esteem and your confidence will skyrocket. So the first one that I’ve had a very, very first hand experience with was staying in a situation that you really dislike.

    Reply
  15. Tomi Engdahl says:

    How To Think 10X Faster Under Pressure
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOgaa7FcwUg

    How to Think Faster Under Pressure

    High-pressure situations are, unfortunately, absolutely inevitable. Whatever it is that you want, oftentimes, it comes after a high-pressure situation. Whether it’s an interview, a networking event, or a date, it’s those times where we really would like an outcome that we feel the most pressure. And unfortunately, all too often we go home kicking ourselves saying, “Why did I say that and why didn’t I just say that other thing?”

    Reply
  16. Tomi Engdahl says:

    How To DESTROY Self Doubt
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beg57qXMZTE

    How To DESTROY Self Doubt

    Self-doubt can be crippling. And it doesn’t matter if the doubt comes from within or if other people’s negative comments begin to affect you. Sometimes you can get into a spin cycle of doubt and negativity that absolutely crushes your confidence.

    What’s worse is that we “know” we shouldn’t doubt ourselves.

    Reply
  17. Tomi Engdahl says:

    5 Habits That Guarantee You Become Charismatic
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Takobi8jsEI

    After a decade of researching charismatic individuals, I’ve narrowed down all the forms of charisma into 5 types

    I’m going to share that with you today so you can see which one you fall into and why these types are charismatic

    ⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰

    0:34 – Type #1: Authentic
    1:44 – Type #2: Self Assured
    3:02 – Type #3: Empathetic
    4:23 – Type #4: Energetic
    5:30 – Type #5: Funny

    Reply
  18. Tomi Engdahl says:

    5 Common Phrases That Kill Your Charisma
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj3j2jPcnKk

    0:25 Charisma tip one is to tweak, “No problem”
    1:33 Charisma tip number two is to not say, “You messed up”
    3:19 Charisma tip three is the Preemptive disqualification
    4:36 Don’t say, “You always/never” followed with a negative comment
    6:15 Being specific can also help with charisma and show confidence

    Reply
  19. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Build team loyalty with these 3 culture tactics
    https://enterprisersproject.com/article/2019/1/build-team-loyalty-these-3-culture-tactics

    To retain more talent, especially millennials, consider changes to these key aspects of company culture

    1. Promote learning development

    2. Offer wellness benefits

    3. Create an agile rewards program
    Today’s workforce no longer wants a one-size-fits-all benefits package; rather, they expect their rewards, recognition, benefits, and incentives to follow an individualized structure and align with their consistent work performance.

    Reply
  20. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Skarppaa johtamisessa niin voit kasvaa
    https://blog.kauppalehti.fi/kasvun-lasikatot/skarppaa-johtamisessa-niin-voit-kasvaa

    Uutta kasvua etsittäessä on aika skarpata johtamista. Kasvun esteet ovat usein yritysten sisällä, ja ne liittyvät kasvuhalun ohella kyvykkyyteen ja kykyyn kehittää yrityksen toimintaa.

    Reply
  21. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Big companies are not becoming data-driven fast enough
    https://techcrunch.com/2019/02/06/big-companies-are-not-becoming-data-driven-fast-enough/?sr_share=facebook&utm_source=tcfbpage

    McAfee was fond of saying that before the data deluge we have today, the way most large organizations made decisions was via the HiPPO — the highest paid person’s opinion. Then he would chide the audience that this was not the proper way to run your business. Data, not gut feelings, even those based on experience, should drive important organizational decisions.

    While companies haven’t failed to recognize McAfee’s advice, the NVP report suggests they are having problems implementing data-driven decision making across organizations. There are plenty of technological solutions out there today to help them, from startups all the way to the largest enterprise vendors, but the data (see, you always need to go back to the data) suggests that it’s not a technology problem, it’s a people problem.

    Reply
  22. Tomi Engdahl says:

    How do you plan when planning is dead?
    https://opensource.com/open-organization/19/2/3-misconceptions-agile?sc_cid=7016000000127ECAAY

    Can we embrace new ways of working and still set goals? Here are three misconceptions about what it means to “be agile.”

    Reply
  23. Tomi Engdahl says:

    IT job interview tips: 12 ways to win in 2019
    https://enterprisersproject.com/article/2019/1/it-job-interview-tips-12-ways-win-2019?sc_cid=7016000000127eyAAA

    IT hiring managers seek plenty of fresh talent right now. Prepare to impress them with these expert IT job interview tips

    Reply
  24. Tomi Engdahl says:

    How to write an IT cover letter: 8 tips
    https://enterprisersproject.com/article/2019/1/how-write-it-cover-letter-8-tips

    Before you can win that new IT job, you must get in the door. Here’s how to quickly and confidently make your case in an IT cover letter – and land an interview

    Reply
  25. Tomi Engdahl says:

    ”clearest warning sign of an ineffective manager was being slow to answer emails”

    No, You Can’t Ignore Email. It’s Rude.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/15/opinion/sunday/email-etiquette.html

    Being overwhelmed is no excuse. It’s hard to be good at your job if you’re bad at responding to people.

    Yes, we’re all overwhelmed with email. One recent survey suggested that the average American’s inbox has 199 unread messages. But volume isn’t an excuse for not replying. Ignoring email is an act of incivility.

    “I’m too busy to answer your email” really means “Your email is not a priority for me right now.” That’s a popular justification for neglecting your inbox: It’s full of other people’s priorities. But there’s a growing body of evidence that if you care about being good at your job, your inbox should be a priority.

    When researchers compiled a huge database of the digital habits of teams at Microsoft, they found that the clearest warning sign of an ineffective manager was being slow to answer emails. Responding in a timely manner shows that you are conscientious — organized, dependable and hardworking.

    I’m not saying you have to answer every email. Your brain is not just sitting there waiting to be picked. If senders aren’t considerate enough to do their homework and ask a question you’re qualified to answer, you don’t owe them anything back.

    I have a few general rules. You should not feel obliged to respond to strangers asking you to share their content on social media, introduce them to your more famous colleagues, spend hours advising them on something they’ve created or “jump on a call this afternoon.” If someone you barely know emails you a dozen times a month and is always asking you to do something for him, you can ignore those emails guilt-free.

    We all need to set boundaries. People shouldn’t be forced to answer endless emails outside work hours

    Spending hours a day answering emails can stand in the way of getting other things done. One recent study shows that on days when managers face heavy email demands, they make less progress toward their goals and end up being less proactive in communicating their vision and setting expectations.

    But that same study shows that email load takes a toll only if it’s not central to your job. And let’s face it: These days email is central to most jobs.

    Not answering emails today is like refusing to take phone calls in the 1990s or ignoring letters in the 1950s. Email is not household clutter and you’re not Marie Kondo. Ping!

    “My inbox is other people’s priorities” bothers me as a social scientist, but also as a human being. Your priorities should include other people and their priorities

    Clearing out your inbox can jump-start your own productivity. One set of experiments showed that if you’re behind on a task, you’ll finish it faster if you’re busy, because you know you need to use your time efficiently.

    Reply
  26. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Agile at scale — why it is so hot right now
    https://favrohub.com/agile-at-scale-why-it-is-so-hot-right-now-a47c3697c222

    Agile is not just for techies anymore. The use of agile workflow management has gone from software development teams to entire organizations in a few years as the speed of market adaptability became the new business currency. Here is why this is happening right now and how your organization can make huge progress by working in an agile way

    Reply
  27. Tomi Engdahl says:

    For Most Tech Workers, Scandals Don’t Affect Their Desire to Work in the Industry
    https://spectrum.ieee.org/view-from-the-valley/at-work/tech-careers/most-tech-workers-dont-see-scandals-as-affecting-their-view-of-industry-survey-says

    The tech industry has had its share of scandals lately.

    Incidents like these have certainly drawn negative publicity for the companies involved, but is it hurting the way tech workers feel about their own industry?

    And for the vast majority, the answer was no. Scandals do, however, make a significant minority of tech workers less interested in working at an affected company.

    Reply
  28. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Why your employees should be calling you out
    https://opensource.com/open-organization/19/2/open-leaders-whistleblowers?sc_cid=7016000000127ECAAY

    If members of your organization are sharing their concerns about your behavior with everyone but you, they may no longer trust you’re doing the right thing.

    Reply
  29. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Business leadership conferences: How to maximize your time
    https://enterprisersproject.com/article/2019/1/business-leadership-conferences-how-maximize-your-time?sc_cid=7016000000127ECAAY

    Want to get more from your next conference? IT leaders share 7 ways to navigate events wisely – before, during, and after

    Dozens of technology conferences compete for attention from IT leaders. But for already busy CIOs, investing the time and effort to travel to and attend events needs to have a clear return. “Given the crazy demands on our time, it is crucial that IT leaders and CIOs leave conferences knowing that our time was well-spent,” says Wendy M. Pfeiffer, CIO at Nutanix.

    Reply
  30. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Management phrases that make people crazy
    https://enterprisersproject.com/article/2019/1/management-phrases-make-people-crazy?sc_cid=7016000000127ECAAY

    Are your words getting under your team members’ skin? Check yourself against these phrases – and consider some alternatives

    Reply
  31. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Using data to get your next raise
    https://opensource.com/article/19/2/using-data-get-your-next-raise?sc_cid=7016000000127ECAAY

    Serverless ROI Tracker app shows the benefit of solving real-life problems while learning new skills.

    Success statements are a way to translate your accomplishments into the language everyone in business can understand: money.

    There are three guidelines for writing success statements. First, they should be 140 characters or less, just like classic Twitter. You should be able to quickly scan through a list of them, like a resume. Second, they should be written at a high level and easy to understand for someone who might not be familiar with what you do. And third, they should be quantified in money or time. Money is the easiest, but since salary can be one of the biggest corporate costs, time can be translated into cost savings.

    The exact format is:

    I “improved this thing” using “this method” by “this measurable amount.”

    Here are two examples:

    “I reduced storage costs by archiving data, saving $5.00 monthly.”
    “I reduced manual testing by creating automated tests, saving 60 minutes weekly.”

    Reply
  32. Tomi Engdahl says:

    ​Business Agility and How to Fail It
    Mar 5, 2019, 10:52 AM
    https://www.nitor.com/en/news-and-blogs/business-agility-and-how-fail-it

    Similar failure patterns surface repeatedly in large agile transformations. Nitor Lean – Agile coaches have gathered these patterns during large agile transformations and extensive agile research since 2006.

    Reply
  33. Tomi Engdahl says:

    11 kikkaa tuhota dialogi
    Asioita, joita EI kannata tehdä, jos tähtää rakentavaan keskusteluun.
    https://www.sitra.fi/blogit/11-kikkaa-tuhota-dialogi/

    Reply
  34. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Top five strategies to deal with turbulent times in the engineering industry
    https://www.csemag.com/articles/top-five-strategies-to-deal-with-turbulent-times-in-the-engineering-industry/

    How engineering firms plan for, analyze, and react to the expected and unexpected will define their future success.

    1. Know your differentiators

    There are key strengths in an engineering firm. How those strengths measure against other firms and what makes your firm unique in the marketplace require two things: a good understanding of your market and the ability to self-reflect.

    2. Know your indicators

    Many owners and leaders use metrics and indicators to look at a firm’s health. It’s important to use “lagging” indicators—such as profit and loss and balance sheet data. These indicators inform management about the firm’s history. Equally important are leading indicators that can provide clarity to future performance. Think about what metrics are being reviewed to identify future improvements, test your position against external factors, and act as those leading indicators.

    3. Test your firm against the market

    With the right indicators, changes in the market can be detected early.

    4. Respond decisively

    When analysis shows the need for change, preplanned responses can allow for rapid change. Preplanning may sound militaristic; however, the concepts around what to do for engineering firms can prevent crises in the organization and capitalize on situations that would ordinarily leave a firm on the back foot.

    5. Deploy deftly

    Perfect prior planning and preparation will prevent poor performance. Many within engineering firms are all for change as long as they aren’t the ones who have to change.

    Reply
  35. Tomi Engdahl says:

    “Yhteiskunta pyörii aamuvirkkujen tyrannialla” – 20 000 suomalaista vastasi Akuutin ja Työterveyslaitoksen unikyselyyn
    https://yle.fi/aihe/artikkeli/2019/03/18/yhteiskunta-pyorii-aamuvirkkujen-tyrannialla-vain-kolmasosa-elaa-luonnollisessa?utm_source=facebook-share&utm_medium=social

    Reply
  36. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Why you should take the jobs no one else wants
    https://opensource.com/open-organization/19/3/jobs-no-one-wants?sc_cid=7016000000127ECAAY

    We often describe open organizations as places where people volunteer to take on new challenges. But what about the jobs no one wants to do?

    Reply
  37. Tomi Engdahl says:

    Wealth: A New Era of Economics — Freeism
    https://hackernoon.com/wealth-a-new-era-of-economics-ce8acd785441

    Capitalism and Socialism are in a climatic feud. Why? Because they are dying. Don’t believe me? Let me challenge your assumptions and introduce you to the future. Let me tell you some stories.

    Reply

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